simple needs

i am just a simple man with simple needs. i have a work ethic that was taught to me years ago, if you cant do it rite then dont do it and work for the money you want not for what you get. this gets me into trouble because so many people now adays dont care about the work they do only the money they make and the benefits they recieve. my benefits are the job i do is rite and the quality is the best i can do. the paycheck and all are just the icing on the cake. i know the economy sucks and employers are taking advatage of it but the wages are going down and the cost of living is up. we in the service industries are the ones who keep america going but we are the least respected and most under payed. come on america get your head out and support the economy by paying people what they are realy worth.

where to go?

I am halfway between Florida and Oregon. returning to Florida if i found work and a place to stay would be great due to friends and of course fishing and i like the weather. going to Oregon would be a new adventure and would be with the hopes of finding a way back to evelyn when her and the kids move up. it would also mean dealing with the colder temps and the results of frost bite when i was young (my hands get cold and i lose feeling in them). the dilemma is Oregon for a chance to regain the love of my life or Florida for friends and weather?
any help out there?

Friday, March 05, 2010
Well here I am again wondering what I have done to my life ( actually I know) I still do not have a job that allows me to earn enough money to pay my bills and get back on my feet. As we all know there is no help to be found in the government system that we have paid into with our taxes as I am not a minority or a single mother ( I know been there said that ) yesterday I was turned down for a position with Campus Crusade for Christ that I had applied for, hoping that it would be my salvation. I hoped God would help me get the job and help me into an environment to get closer to him and maybe finally fit in somewhere that I could learn and grow. Well God may have tried but the administration seems to only want perfect Christians and not the burden of a lost soul looking for salvation. I am not going to let myself be angry at them I am only concerned that they can minister to many but refuse to help only one. How can I learn to trust if even Christian organizations are so prejudice toward lost souls. All I want is to be able to put my feet back down, earn a living, pay my bills, and find peace for my soul. Is it so much? I feel so lost, lonely, confused and hurt. Everything I thought was me, what I thought was rite, what I thought was love none of it seems to be real. None of it brings me peace. None of it helps people around me.
I am out of ideas and it seems God has decided that the wrongful and misdirected anger that I have voiced and written over the last few months is to be punished for what ever the length left in my life. I will still pray that I am wrong and hope that God will help me and give me wisdom and strength to again put my feet down and grow, but for now all I feel is fear, pain, confusion, loneliness, despair and defeat.

life or atleast it was

well it is sunday afternoon jan 3 2010 and my new year is off to moving what i own into a truck that i may loose on monday. this is going to be the last most hear from me as i will be out of touch come monday the 4th if i live i may find my way back to let you know but so far all i see is the end of my life and homeless on the streets of orlando where you are considerd a criminal and people close there eyes or look down on you heck they even kill you for sport read the news.

merry x-mass

well it is almost Christmas and so many are homeless and hurting. I know because i am going to be there in a couple of days. i have tried to find a job and help to keep what little i have left but there is nothing (well i qualified for food stamps but will have no where to store or cook food) to help i do not qualify for retraining funds because I MADE too much at my last job (forget that i have nothing now)employers are picky about hiring using credit checks to decide who to hire. well of course my credit is shot no job no money to pay bills. America is geard toward white collar jobs not blue( those go over seas) and if you are only close to loosing everything you cant get help to save it but if you are rich you get tax breaks and loans and all sorts of help and if you are homeless and have nothing you only get enough to keep you there. god America is such a great place to live isn't it?
I have also found that when you ask for help here on the www you find nothing but scams trying to take what little you have left. i get it America we the people at the bottom just need to die and stop bothering you right?

no work no money and need to move

well pain, fear and looking at homelessness makes you realy take a long look at what you are and who you are. i am striping down and trying to sell what i can so as to make hopefully2 payments on my truck and get the registration and insurance paid to the point that i can move.
i was offerd help from a friend if i can get there. it realy hurts that i have to give up on all that i have worked so hard to achieve but along with my bad decisions and others negative moves and the lack of jobs here in orlando i have no choice but to try to move and start over.
i have been angry and cold but now i am so worn and broken that i do not have the energy to even cry. i am scared, sorry for my anger and i just need one more chance to start over.
if i cant find help or a job i dont know that i will survive beeing homeless.

Well it is almost thanks giving and here i am trying to find a job, fending off calls from credit collectors, woundering when i will end up having to leave all i have left and join the ranks of the homeless. I am thankfull to my ex wife for she taught me that trust is better kept to yourself, that money and material things mean more than true love, and familly and friends are only there if they can do for you. Thank you Evelyn Philhower for 14 years of lies.
And as to the rest of the american people that can see fit to send money over seas to help poverty but wount help in there own back yards dont complain when the united states falls into ruin because you didnt help.